Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Backstory

We live in Seattle... and we're swingers. How did this happen? How does a cute, smart, only slightly slutty twenty-something couple get sucked into this depraved lifestyle? Wait- does having an open relationship automatically make you a swinger? If my boyfriend's girlfriend is a swinger, are we?
Why is the term "swinger" so fraught with negative connotations that I would semantically squirm to get out of using it?

THE BACKSTORY:

My boyfriend and I met about a year and a half ago, in a gay club through a mutual friend. Have I mentioned that I'm a girl (bi) and he's a boy (straight)? We hit it off immediately. There followed about five months of non-stop monkey sex, the best either of us had ever had, the kind of sex that has you screaming "I fucking love you!" within weeks of meeting. It was great, it was sweaty, it involved the installation of heavy duty hardware into my bedroom walls to accommodate our newfound love of bondage. Hopefully you've experienced falling in love and can sympathize. Around this point, we spontaneously decided to move across the country to Seattle. I'm a live-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda girl.

So now we're settled in pretty well in our new town. I got another porn store job, because that's what I love to do. He got a job doing what he likes. We nested. It was domestic bliss. Except that in the process of building a life together, we lost some of our passion. The sex was still pretty great, better by far than anything else I'd ever had in the context of a committed long term relationship, but not like it was.

We started tossing around the idea of having a threesome with another girl. At first, just talking about the fantasy was enough to get us all riled up. During sex, we'd discuss possible scenarios, teasing each other with terrible, delicious ideas. It was a total thrill. But soon, we were wanting more...

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